Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
