It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
