I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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