put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
