Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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