is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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