He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
