I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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