i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
