fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i would punch a child for taco bell
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
