Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
