good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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