please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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