Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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