I'm so fucking centered right now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
