You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
