I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
