Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
