Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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