Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
