why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
