Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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