he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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