from now on my penis is your penis
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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