He kissed a someone with a penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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