maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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