so explain again why im purple
no
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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