Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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