FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The feeling are messing with the penis
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize