the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Found the puke drawer
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
