If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
