Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
