I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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