its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm both gender and math confused
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
