you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
