so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
