70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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