The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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