It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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