ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
