I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
