Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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