I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
