I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
