i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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