Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
