apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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