had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
