she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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