Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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