i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
