i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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