Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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