We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think a kid would responsible me up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
