PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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