I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize