We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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