My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
