420 ftw
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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