I've blown a few things in my day
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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