...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
