My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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