oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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