I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
