I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After last night, I could never be a politician.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Bring me that man meat
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