He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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